Photo by Frank Ockenfels/AMC
Photo by Frank Ockenfels/AMC

Holy. Cats.

Let’s talk about that mid-season premiere of “The Walking Dead.” I’ll attempt to make this as spoiler-free as possible, but to keep the masses from slashing my tires as I’m parked in the Commuter Lot, do me a favor and don’t read this if you’re someone who considers “Abraham was still wearing the jacket that healed him emotionally” a spoiler. Actually, to be safe, if you didn’t watch the midseason premiere, go ahead and pass this article over all together, I just bought those tires. Plenty of other articles to read. Move along.

Abraham’s Happy Jacket aside, I have high hopes for the rest of Season 6.

Although I said the same about Season 5, and my watching that seemed to taper off to more of a habitual thing than for entertainment’s sake. As in: I kept watching simply because I’ve been watching for so long.

There was nothing really keeping me in Season 5, save for my already established love for Abraham, who is my last living favorite character (RIP Hershel, forever missed, gone too soon). I guess what made it worth watching was finally hearing Rick say, “We are the Walking Dead,” 4 seasons in. Is that saying a lot? I’m not sure.

I’m dying to talk Negan, first of all. We’ve seen the folks at AMC talking about Jeffrey Dean Morgan being cast as the illusive newest villain (who I’ve heard is supposed to be “worse than the Governor”), a man who we all know and love as John Winchester of “Supernatural” (or Denny of “Grey’s Anatomy,” depending on your television tastes). But I’m livid that we have yet to actually SEE him.

We’ve been hearing about him for the last two seasons, hanging on promises from “The Walking Dead” writers Robert Kirkman, Frank Darabont and co. that “you’ll meet Negan by the end of this season!” (said during season 4) only for us to meet his merry band of marauders and cutthroats instead of the Wolves’ frontman himself.

Well, fool me once, right?

Anyway, next order of business:

I AM SICK OF ALEXANDRIA. There, I said it. Fight me if you want.

I liked it better when our team had a goal, instead of sitting stagnant in one place. (Because when has that EVER worked out? Shall we revisit Hershel’s Farm or the Prison?) Basically, they should have figured out by now that movement is survival and, to quote Robert Frost, “Nothing gold can stay.”

I’m just saying, even if Eugene was full of it, D.C. is probably still the best bet for anyone stuck in a zombie apocalypse in the United States. I get that they need fortification, a place to roost, a place to build a nice treehouse for Judith, but for excitement’s sake, can we move along? I don’t really want to watch Rick play farmer for the third time, unless he’s going to dramatically shout, “My petunias!” the next time a horde of walkers tromp the crops.

If you’ve read the comics, which I haven’t, then you’ve caught the supposed allusions to some group within “The Walking Dead” called “The Saviors.” I don’t know who they are, I haven’t researched that yet, but supposedly when Rick and gang were being held captive in Terminus, that’s when the Saviors were alluded to. Three words: Glenn and baseball bat. Also, Terminus being referred to as “Sanctuary” is apparently another one of these allusions. Like I said, if you read the comics, you know what this means.

To me, they sound like a more villainous group, but the big rumor right now is that we’re going to find out exactly who they are very soon.

Of course, if it’s anything like the introduction of Negan, “very soon” implies “probably within the next 3 seasons, maybe. If we feel like it.”Anyway, solid re-start to Season 6. Lots of violence, lots of explosions, lots of shock-worthy moments.

P.S., if Abraham dies, I’m out. That’s not a threat, either, AMC. I mean it. The new season’s gonna need Abraham Ford.